on the night of yesterday

something odd happened last night when I called micheal. I had thought about this the whole of july; making this call. it was not easy forgetting him after all these years, I just couldn’t understand this feeling I had towards him; it was an unfamiliar feeling, I wasn’t sure if it was what was referred to as love, a feeling that could not let go of a man who couldn’t reciprocate affection, it was a mixture of chocolate and lime.
After our last misunderstanding, it had been 2 months since we last spoke . Two long aching months. I had tossed the idea aside at some points(afterall he had not bothered to check up on me the last 2months), then again I just couldn’t toss it and I continued to think of it, reharsed the words I would say.
At every remembrance, my heart leaped, at every reharsal, there was a smile that turned into a grin and at times ended with a short laugh that filled the whole of my chest that I had to stop to inspire. But today, this night when I finally threw all the ego I owned and called him, something happened. I had reharsed it again-what to tell him, some minutes before I dialled his number. “hi micheal” I would say. “how are you?” its really been a while we spoke’. ‘so tell me, have you found a new love?, because you just blanked me out” ( but then I thought I would leave the latter part out. or maybe I would just say it! whatever, the mood would determine). I expected at this point, he would sound very warm and tell me something in the line of “No dear, its not like that”, then let out one of his short laughs that subtly hinted he missed me too. I would go on and just bare it all to him, not minding the consequence, if he felt the same way. I would say something like ‘I really missed you micheal, just to let you know that every day for the last two months, I never stopped thinking about you. I could not just begin to think of forgetting you’ All these while, butterflies turned to doves in my stomach and flew in round circles. I would just let out all the feelings that gripped my chest whenever I thought of him; the feeling of anger that he could just forget me in a flip; the feeling of betrayal that he had finally put me in his past tense, the feeling of forgiveness;being ready to continue from where we stopped and even get farther. all these were running through my mind as I listened to his caller tune, waiting for him to pick my call, waiting to hear his voice after 2months! “Hello” ….the voice was very faint, very distant, very casual. I tried to dispel the though that he could have been critically ill, maybe lying on a hospital bed somewhere.
“hi micheal. Are you ok?” I said.
“yes I am” the voice continued, a strange voice I couldn’t recognise the owner. “I’m in Abuja now” he said.
“ok” I replied.
“I came in some few hours ago”.
“ok” I replied “why is your voice sounding this way ” I asked.
“Nothing” he replied. “I’ll call you tomorrow…” micheal was saying, that was when I suddenly realised what I was feeling since I heard the cold voice at the other end of the line. “ok?” he was asking. I wanted vomitt.
“Bye” I muttered ”
you said….?” micheal was asking.
“I said bye”…..and the line went Dead.

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